Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
