If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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