So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
