why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
