am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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