Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
