due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
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