how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
