How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
