Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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