Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
A bitchslap is in order.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
