im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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