I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
