my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
