how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Your cock deserves a montage
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Randomize