You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
