We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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