is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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