I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
