I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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