dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
