Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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