Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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