my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
should my penis look like a turkey
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
