you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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