come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
