and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
whose ass print is on the piano?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
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