sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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