Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
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