Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
