chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
