I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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