I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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