Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
