And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He? As in you personified your dick?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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