He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
