as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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