Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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