"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
