i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Randomize
