Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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