Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
