if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
