I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
