I didn't shave. On purpose
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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