no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
