Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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