i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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