Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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