I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
i dont even know how to be here
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
