Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
