I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
