I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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