He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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