the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
