These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
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