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so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
We're too hungover to prance.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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