the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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