Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
