dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
