in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
be right there i have to get my cape
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize