I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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