There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
